Advice on How to Handle Rejection

In Chapter 16 of 16 in her 2012 interview, author and food writer Cathy Erway answers "How Do You Deal With Rejection?"  Erway notes how dealing with rejection comes down to attitude and ego.  She reminds herself rejection is not about her and shifts focus on understanding the party saying no and why it would do so.  Cathy Erway is an author and food writer living in Brooklyn.  Her first book, "The Art of Eating In" developed from her blog "Not Eating Out in New York".  She earned a BA in creative writing from Emerson College.


Erik Michielsen:  How do you deal with rejection?

Cathy Erway:  Rejection is actually -- it is a product of ego. I'm very easygoing, and if somebody rejects me and it's not a huge deal, I really handle it pretty well. Or if something, you know, I -- say I submitted to a poetry contest and I didn't get it, it's really not--I'm not going to be crushed, so I don't really get so worked up.

And if you didn't have a big ego, then you, there's no such thing as rejection, actually. It doesn't exist. It is something that you feel when you're--when somebody says no for whatever reason. You can take that to be, "Oh, I respect the way that person or that organization is thinking," and that's, it is what it is, you know? That's all it is. It's not about me, but let's think about what they were thinking, and that's their choice, okay. So, cool. But if you're thinking of it from only your point of view, "Oh," you know, "the world is -- It's me against the world. And the world is rejecting me." Then of course you're going to feel bad, so it's really about an attitude.