Jullien Gordon on How Family Relationships Change With Age

In Chapter 3 of 21 in his 2012 Capture Your Flag interview, business coach Jullien Gordon answers "How Are Your Family Relationships Changing As You Get Older?"  Getting married in July marks a huge milestone in Gordon's life.  Additionally, Gordon turns his attention to thinking how he will care for his aging parents from a distance and what role he will assume in that relationship.  Jullien Gordon is a high performance coach and consultant to organizations, individuals and teams who want to increase employee performance, motivation, engagement and retention.  He earned a BA from UCLA, an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a Masters of Education from Stanford University.


Erik Michielsen: How are your family relationships changing as you get older?

Jullien Gordon: First and foremost, I got married. I got married in July, so that’s been exciting this year. And of course, as you get older you start looking at your parents as opposed to adult to kid, you start looking at them eye to eye and you’re able to have different kinds of conversations than you were able to have when you lived in their household, or even when you were in college and not as independent.

I find myself having to think about how I’m going to take my—take care of my parents, especially as my mom gets older, or just trying to take on that responsibility, understanding what my role is in that relationship. We are—she’s in California, I’m in New York, and just trying to figure out how do I create my life as I build my family, but still support my mother in her—I don’t wanna call it aging, but as her life continues, how do I support and be a good son from a distance, if I don’t happen to move back to California, so that’s been challenging, thinking about that, ‘cause here I am, a newly wedded husband and I have my wife to take care of, we don’t have kids yet, but at the same time, I feel like I’m starting to have to think about how I’m gonna take care of my parents, and so that’s an interesting dynamic, and I didn’t picture it being that way as I was growing up. You know, your parents take care of themselves and then you start taking care of your family, as your family takes care of its kids and it goes that way, but… So I’m finding some interesting dynamics as I explore being a son and being a husband.