Nina Godiwalla on How Life Changes After Having a Second Child

In Chapter 5 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "What Challenges Have You Faced Raising Two Young Children While Working Full Time?" Godwalla shares how having a second baby has significantly changed her social life. With the added responsibility at home, working mom Godiwalla and her husband realize that the reality of having a second child is that your social life, from date nights to seeing friends, will get constrained. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Transcript

Erik Michielsen: What challenges have you faced raising two young children while working full time?

Nina Godiwalla: I have to say what happened for us, what fell off the bottom is, where we are challenged is, with the second kid, especially, it cut off our social life a lot, it cut our social life significantly. So we used to have it to where, “Okay, I’ll take it. You go out tonight. I can go out with my friends later,” so we weren’t doing a lot of things together, because it’s usually, when we travel, we’re gone for work, so it doesn’t really justify we’re not gonna take a vacation, and we don’t leave our kids and go on a vacation together, but our time together, after the second child, has been cut significantly, just spending any time together alone, or going out and socializing.

We’re actually both fairly disciplined people, so we just see this as a situation, whereas I know a lot of other friends will say to me like, “Oh, you have to still socialize and do all sorts of things,” and I just, I do—I enjoy being with my kids, and, to me, I see it as, for the next couple of years, it will be this way, and even with my husband, when we’ve had our first kid, we said, “Oh, we’re gonna do a weekly date night,” a month, weeks later, and I thought, “Maybe we’ll do monthly,” we don’t do either.

Maybe it has only been a couple of years now, but it doesn’t bother me that much, and he has more of a kind of a discipline, logical mindset too where we both kind of see it as this is just it is what it is right now, and we’re not gonna, probably not spend a lot of time alone, it’s gonna be the four of us together and just deal with it, and we’re not gonna spend a lot of time with our friends, and when we do spend time with friends, it’s when we have the whole family together, and it’s just this chaotic—it’s they have their two or three other children, we have our two children—our conversation is so broken. You just started to say something, and then someone’s kid is screaming over, so it’s these broken conversations that there was no real in-depth conversation, but at the same time, it is what it is right now.

Erik Michielsen: Is that something where you have to just kind of feel out other couples and their kids and figure out, “Are we all okay in this environment here?”

Nina Godiwalla: I think other parents get it because they can’t have the conversation either. They are really trying. Before I had kids I was one of those unforgiving people where I really felt like, “Can they—?” I still remember it, I have a friend that I could hear her baby crying in the background, and I was thinking, and I’d be in the middle of telling her something, and I thought, “Can she just not leave the kid for a minute or two and let me finish talking or telling my story?” And it’s just interesting, as a parent now, I mean I see things so differently, like if I hear someone’s kid crying, I’m like, “I will talk to you later.” I just I don’t want you to have to try and listen to me and listen to the kid screaming at the same time.

My mindset is so different. Before, I was very harsh on parents, so I had a long way to come, and now I’m just incredibly forgiving. If I see somebody with like a kid on a plane, I try and let them know like a million times that whatever their child does is perfectly fine because I won’t fly with my children. I don’t bring my children on a plane, and everyone always makes fun of me because I fly, I’m flying for business and they’ll say, especially on the East Coast, like, “Do you really have children?” Because I fly here fairly frequently, but none of—and I have a lot of friends here, and they said, “I’ve never seen your children, like this is mysterious that you really have children.” “Oh my God, I don’t fly with my kids.” I mean that’s my—and so it’s that sort of I know what a challenge it is and I don’t even wanna go there. (laughs)

Nina Godiwalla on Turning Your Passion into Your Mission

In Chapter 6 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Do You Define and Measure Success in What You Do?" Godiwalla shares how work success is less about results and more about staying immersed in mission-based work that allows her to use her passions to achieve a greater purpose. Over time she finds herself achieving dream goals as she builds her diversity and leader training business. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: How do you define and measure success in what you do?

Nina Godiwalla: For me, I think less about success because my life has had this major shift from working to purpose. I’m very clear now that I have a purpose and I’d say I can actually articulate it a little bit better that way because I was in a meeting about 2 weeks ago, and I was talking about what I do, and as I get very worked up, I was very passionate about it, and the guy that I was speaking to said, “You sound like you’re really not working, you’re on a mission,” and that was interesting because I thought, “Yeah, I know, because I don’t feel like I work anymore,” and, you know what? Because I don’t feel that way, I am not measuring success. I’m not sitting around thinking, “Did I do these three checkmarks?” It’s almost like I’m growing—I can see that things are changing significantly around me. Every year of my life is wow, I said a year or 2 years ago that was a dream to me. That is something I would have loved to do but never thought. I hadn’t even thought about getting that far, and then I find myself 2 years later doing that, and so I think that is success to me, is being able to find that purpose, and then just going after it full force, and being able to adapt and be flexible as things are constantly changing around me.

Erik Michielsen: When someone asks you, “What is your mission?”, how do you respond?

Nina Godiwalla: I think one of the major messages I have is really focused on step up, speak up, when you’re in a place of power, really being able to take your power and help other people that might not be in power, and those have played to both my focuses, leadership and diversity, and that applies from a diversity standpoint, so such a small example is if you’re in a room and you hear an inappropriate joke about a certain minority group, if you’re not part of that minority group and it makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable, a lot of times we’d just gonna look the other way. The most important thing for you to do at that moment is be able to say something and be able to stand up for that group because that group has been criticized and it’s an opportunity for you as not being a part of that.

From a leadership standpoint what I’m focused on is being in a place of power, whether you—wherever you are. You don’t even have to be high in the hierarchy or whatever it is, but a great example was we were just talking in a meeting, we were at the State Department, we were having this talk about how people repeat, someone gives their credit to the wrong person, so a very senior person says, basically, he repeated what someone else said, and everyone kind of starts giving credit to the senior person who said it, 15 minutes before, two other people had already mentioned it, and we’re giving examples of what’s a way to actually remind people that that’s not the right person, that’s not the person that really said it, and it’s something along the lines of, “Oh, well, Joe, that’s a great point—that’s a great way that you’ve summarized Sandy’s comments earlier, that’s—that was really impressive the way you did it concisely,” or something like that, and, basically, giving back credit to the person that did it. And if you are the most senior person in that room, it’s even more important for you to do that because you’re acknowledging to the rest of the staff, I’m aware of where that came from, and even if you’re not the most senior person, you’re in that room, and so you have an opportunity to bring attention to that, so it’s those sort of things, always making an impact, whether you formally have a hierarchical place or not.

Nina Godiwalla on Training Leaders to Step Up and Speak Up

In Chapter 7 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "When Someone Asks You, 'What is Your Mission', How Do You Respond?" In her diversity and leader training work, Godiwalla strives to teach those in power to "Step Up and Speak Up" to support those with less or no power. She examples of this as it relates to diversity issues in the office as well as in more general meeting environments where credit for ideas and work is often taken by senior staff who just restate another's idea or work. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: When someone asks you, “What is your mission?”, how do you respond?

Nina Godiwalla: I think one of the major messages I have is really focused on step up, speak up, and it's about being able to, when you’re in a place of power, really being able to take your power and help other people that might not be in power, and those apply to both my focuses, leadership and diversity, and that applies from a diversity standpoint, so such a small example is if you’re in a room and you hear an inappropriate joke about a certain minority group, if you’re not part of that minority group, it’s the most important thing, and it makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable, a lot of times we’d just gonna look the other way. The most important thing for you to do at that moment is be able to say something and be able to stand up for that group because that group has been criticized and it’s an opportunity for you as not being a part of that.

And I think from a leadership standpoint which I’m focused on is being in a place of power, whether you—wherever you are. You don’t even have to be high in the hierarchy or whatever it is, but a great example was we were just talking in a meeting, we were at the State Department, we were having this talk about how people repeat, someone gives their credit to the wrong person, so a very senior person says, basically, he repeated what someone else said, and everyone kind of starts giving credit to the senior person who said it, 15 minutes before, two other people had already mentioned it, and we’re giving examples of what’s a way to actually remind people that that’s not the right person, that’s not the person that really said it, and it’s something along the lines of, “Oh, well, Joe, that’s a great point—that’s a great way that you’ve summarized Sandy’s comments earlier, that’s—that was really impressive the way you did it concisely,” or something like that, and, basically, giving back credit to the person that did it. And if you are the most senior person in that room, it’s even more important for you to do that because you’re acknowledging to the rest of the staff, I’m aware of where that came from, and even if you’re not the most senior person, you’re in that room, and so you have an opportunity to bring attention to that, so it’s those sort of things, always making an impact, whether you formally have a hierarchical place or not.

Nina Godiwalla on How Job Success Can Isolate and Overwhelm

In Chapter 8 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Have Awards and Accolades Validated Your Work and Your Mission?" Godiwalla finds receiving awards, such as being inducted into the Texas Women's Hall of Fame, validate her work and her mission. As a public speaker traveling extensively, she finds it progressively difficult to get to know people well during short trips. Travel-related time constraints limit her ability to connect with the amazing people she meets which leads her to feel frustrated and isolated. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Transcript:

Erik Michielsen: How have awards and accolades validated your work and your mission?

Nina Godiwalla: At this point, I feel like it just helps me realize I’m going in the right direction but it doesn’t necessarily change anything major for me. Now that I’m so clear in what I’m doing, the awards and the accolades are like an extra bonus, like it’s nice, but before I felt like I was almost choosing what I would do based off of awards and accolades to some extent because that would be a great thing to do to get this award or get that, and now I feel I’m more along the lines of I’m so clear on my mission, I’m so clear on the purpose, and what I need to accomplish, fantastic, they’re just not nearly as important to me, I think, now that I’m so clear on my path.

Erik Michielsen: And you’re meeting some other people that are part of those communities, do you feel like you share similar views and there’s more work to do?

Nina Godiwalla: We come from completely different areas, one of that, I mean when I got inducted in the Texas Women’s Hall of Fame, Sandra Day O’Connor, as you know, she was one of the recipients, there are people that are colonels in the military. We all came out of so many different disciplines. Again, it’s like an amazing opportunity to meet fantastic, accomplished people, but definitely coming from very different backgrounds, and I feel like also, at this point, I’m so overwhelmed with—I feel like I’m constantly meeting such amazing people that I don’t even have time to get to know anybody anymore, and so the journey almost feels lonely at times because I’m overwhelmed with amazing people that I can’t follow up with. It’s absurd, it is absurd as it sounds, and I know that’s a choice, I mean don’t get me wrong, you create how busy you are, but there is always the next thing that I’m going to, the next thing I’m leaving for. And I mean I go to events all the time, I’m speaking. People give me their business cards, and I’d say I’ll follow up, and I have such good intentions, I really want to, I write it down, but by the time I get back, I’m already—there’s the next one where I meet 15 other people, and then I go back, the next one, so in a lot of ways, yes, I mean it’s fascinating, it’s amazing, but it’s also just completely overwhelming to be around, just meet all these amazing people all the time. (chuckles)

Erik Michielsen: Yeah, yeah, you wish for all that, sometimes, to come, and you get it, and you’re like I’m feeling more isolated and more lonely than ever.

Nina Godiwalla: Yeah, and I’ve heard that from several people, which I thought was interesting. I wouldn’t have—someone said it to me today, actually, she said— I was saying how, “Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to connect a little bit more with people geographically because several of us travel a lot?” And she said, “Yes. Sometimes it gets lonely,” and I hadn’t thought of it that way, and I was thinking, “That’s exactly what I mean.” I mean it feels lonely somewhere along the lines even though you’re constantly with such amazing people.

Nina Godiwalla on How to Turn Your Competitors into Collaborators

In Chapter 9 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Are Your Aspirations Changing As Your Experience Grows?" Godiwalla shares how running a growing leadership training business has been about rolling with the punches, taking it one day at a time, and developing deeper collaborative relationships. As her experience grows, Godiwalla finds ways to work with potential competitors such as Whole Foods in collaborative ways on projects with British Petroleum and the State Department. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on a Natural Way to Build Trusting Relationships

In Chapter 10 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Do You Establish Trust When Building Relationships?" With business and personal relationships, Godiwalla takes a natural path of simply trying to get to know a person through conversations and shared experiences. The personal connection builds a deeper relationship and allows you to naturally be more trusting in them. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on White House Roundtable Lessons on Leadership

In Chapter 11 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "What Have You Found Most Valuable About Working With the White House?" Working on the White House Roundtable alongside an interdisciplinary mix of industry experts gives Godiwalla greater context of how to help leaders become better people. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on Finding New Ways to Learn From Your Clients

In Chapter 12 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "At This Moment in Your Life, Where Are You Seeking Advice and Coaching?" Godiwalla shares how learning from clients has been instrumental in her professional development. She finds great value in the knowledge sharing reciprocity that comes in the client relationship and shares an example on biases in the workplace from her work with the State Department. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on When to Find a Sponsor Instead of a Mentor

In Chapter 13 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Have Mentors Helped Motivate You to Do Your Best Work?" Godiwalla shares how she is shifting her focus from finding mentors to finding sponsors. She notes sponsors are different than mentors in that sponsors take specific action to advocate for you while mentors are more of an advice resource. Godiwalla shares how sponsorship can be used when applying to join a board of directors. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on Finding New Ways to Get Better at Your Job

In Chapter 14 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "What Skills Are You Working on Right Now to Get Better at Your Job?" As a small business owner, Godiwalla realizes she can choose where she spends her time. She also realizes that in order to do what she enjoys doing most she also has to address how work she does not enjoy doing gets done. Figuring out whether to buckle down and handle that work or to hire staff to do that work is a challenges she is trying to address as a leader. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on Turning One Act of Courage Into a Life of Confidence

In Chapter 15 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "What Role Does Confidence Play in the Work That You Do?" Godiwalla sees confidence as everything. She builds confidence by taking risks and having the courage to ask for something. This starts by her choosing to write her book "Suits: A Woman on Wall Street" and continues by following through on that first step both with the both and the public speaking that comes with it. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on Smarter Ways to Give Advice When Asked for Help

In Chapter 16 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Have You Learned to Give Better Advice When People Ask You for Help?" Godiwalla shares how she is getting better about handling advice requests. She learns she can be more effective making introductions by playing a translator role to facilitate connections. This complements sitting down for an advice conversation and getting a longer view perspective of questions being asked. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on How Storytelling Can Elevate Employee Training

In Chapter 17 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "How Are You Becoming a Better Teacher?" As an instructor teaching executive training and employee training, Godiwalla learns to balance informational sharing with storytelling. Storytelling helps Godiwalla build emotional connections in her corporate training and, from teaching in the classroom to speaking at events, helps make her entertain and create impact. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Nina Godiwalla on Using Practical Experimentation to Live a Fuller Life

In Chapter 18 of 18 in her 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, author and entrepreneur Nina Godiwalla answers "So One of the Messages That You Share With Audiences is Built on This Idea of Practical Experimentation. What is That?" Godiwalla shares how practical experimentation is about being reasonable and earning a living while pushing the boundaries by taking risks pursuing your passions. She uses this approach to find that delicate balance of feeling fulfilled developing passions even when that does not relate to your everyday job. Nina Godiwalla is an expert on diversity, leadership and women in the business world. She is CEO of Mindworks, which provides leadership, stress management, and diversity training to companies all over the world. She is also a bestselling author and public speaker. Godiwalla earned an MBA from Wharton, a MA from Dartmouth and a BBA from the University of Texas.

Fabian Pfortmüller on Learning Hospitality From His Parents

In Chapter 1 of 18 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, entrepreneur and community builder Fabian Pfortmüller answers "What Childhood Experiences Have Been Most Fundamental in Shaping Who You Are Today?" Pfortmüller shares how watching his parents treat their houseguests with hospitality and kindness has been a huge influence on how he treats other people, including Holstee customers and his own dinner party guests. Fabian Pfortmüller is co-founder of Holstee, a socially conscious online marketplace, and Sandbox Network, a global community for young entrepreneurial people. Pfortmüller graduated from Columbia University.

Fabian Pfortmüller on the Restorative Value of a Long Vacation

In Chapter 2 of 18 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, entrepreneur and community builder Fabian Pfortmüller answers "How Are Your Personal Experiences Shaping Your Professional Aspirations?" Pfortmüller shares how taking a sabbatical or extended vacation for two months gave him the necessary rest to come back to the Holstee office fresh, reinvigorated and ready to make a change. He notes the company policy of taking off as much time from work as necessary to happy and to perform at the highest levels. Fabian Pfortmüller is co-founder of Holstee, a socially conscious online marketplace, and Sandbox Network, a global community for young entrepreneurial people. Pfortmüller graduated from Columbia University.

Fabian Pfortmüller on Why to Take a Slow Approach to Travel

In Chapter 3 of 18 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, entrepreneur and community builder Fabian Pfortmüller answers "What Have You Found Most Rewarding About Traveling to New Places?" Pfortmüller notes how his travel philosophy has shifted from "visit as many sites as possible" to a more "slow travel" approach to staying in a foreign place and appreciating his daily surroundings. He compares traveling to India in his early twenties with a recent trip to Iran and how appreciating the little things can be so rewarding. Fabian Pfortmüller is co-founder of Holstee, a socially conscious online marketplace, and Sandbox Network, a global community for young entrepreneurial people. Pfortmüller graduated from Columbia University.

Fabian Pfortmüller on Cultivating Middle Eastern Culture Passions

In Chapter 4 of 18 in his 2013 Capture Your Flag interview, entrepreneur and community builder Fabian Pfortmüller answers "How Are You Cultivating Your Passion for Middle Eastern Language and Culture?" After graduating with a college degree in Middle Eastern studies, Pfortmüller travels to Iran to hone his Arabic and Farsi language skills while learning about the culture. While in New York, he channels his passion for Middle Eastern culture into food adventures sampling Egyptian, Lebanese, and Syrian and the conversations they start. Fabian Pfortmüller is co-founder of Holstee, a socially conscious online marketplace, and Sandbox Network, a global community for young entrepreneurial people. Pfortmüller graduated from Columbia University.